Saturday, March 20, 2010

Election night tonight - go Liberals!

I am allowed to say "Go Liberals" now.

In 2001 when I worked for the ABC the then head of news and current affairs phoned me at home on election eve and ordered me not to hand out how-to-vote cards (for an independent candidate) as I had planned to.

Apparently it would be inappropriate, "given my position" at the ABC.

You know what the ABC is like.

Anyway, I am talking about South Australia, my ancestral home.

My rule of thumb is that if a government has been in office for around 10 years it is time for a change.

Labor has. Colleague Katharine Murphy is on the ground and can't detect a mood for a change.

But I do sense such a mood, and Possum has crunched NewsPoll figures to produce this awesome graph showing how hard it should be for Labor to get the 24 votes it would need to retain a majority:

Yes, the NewsPoll figures suggest there's just an 8 per cent chance of that happening.

Change is good, right? All governments get worse over time. (Including the Tasmanian government.)

ABC NewsRadio will be covering both counts all night for those of us interstate.

And to prove I am from Adelaide, below I post a definition going around on the web:


You meet people at the 'Malls Balls'

You consider 40 degrees to be a bit warm

You drink Farmer's Union Iced Coffee

You drink Coopers

And you know It's the best beer in the world

You've been to the brewery lights's

You've eaten a Balfour's frog cake

You know that a Berliner is something you eat

You like YoYo biscuits

You grew up on Fritz & sauce sangas

You know it's a 'yiros', not a 'kebab'

You can drink SA tap water without noticing any unpleasant flavours

You've been to the Pancake Kitchen (open 24 hours)

You call the corner store a 'deli'

You pronounce graph as 'grarph', plant as 'plarnt' and dance as 'darnce'

You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.

You went to school camps as the Red Shield Aquatics Camp in Victor Harbor

You know where 'Porta Gutta' is

You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).

You have been to Flashdance at HQ at least once

You've started the night on the East End then drunkly walked through Rundle Mall in the early hours to get to the West End (or vice versa)

You know that there's more than one way to have a good time on Hindley Street

Pints are the big beers

After a big night you've ended up at 'The Cas'

You've been to the museum on 5 different school excursion but never returned as an adult

You've been to the St. Kilda playground

You miss Magic Mountain at the bay

You know that 'the bay' is Glenelg

You would never swim at Glenelg because it's gross

You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburnt

You know the state floral and fauna emblem (but just in case it comes up at a quiz night)

You still call AAMI Stadium, ' Footy Park '.

You support the Crows/the Power

And you'd rather give up your first born than see the other team win the flag

You know the South Australians invited the checkside punt

You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt

You forgave the Chappells for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.

Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy

You've never watched NRL

You've been to the Christmas pageant as a child and as an adult

You've lined up for more than half an hour to see Santa at the Magic Cave

You've bought something from the pie cart

You know what a pie floater is

You've eaten a pie floater

You can't go out without seeing someone you know

You shop at Foodland

You have a Hills Hoist in your backyard

You know the Hills Hoist was invented in South Australia as was wine casks, penicillin and the retractable seat belt

At least half of your neighbours were born before 1950

You can leave work at 5:15 and miss 'peak hour traffic'

Your definition of 'peak hour' traffic is more than 5 cars at a red light

You're always running late because the public transport system is so old

You know and love the sound the ticket machine makes on public transport

You feel like punching the next person who calls it the City of Churches

You walk past at least 5 churches on your way to work

Seeing a large, Aboriginal man walking around town in a leotard and gum boots in the middle of winter does not surprise you

You know his name is Johnny

You know who Stormy Summers is

You think the 'Tiser has no journalistic integrity whatsoever.... And yet you still read it every day.

You remember John Martin's

You've been on the Pop-Eye

You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.

You know where beehive corner is

You hate the new tram

You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.

You've used the term 'minda' as an insult

A pale/palie is a Coopers Pale Ale

You've saved up your bottles and cans from a big night out, collected the 5c deposit and then used it to buy more beer

You know what a 'stobie pole' is

You say 'heaps good'

One of the first questions you ask a person is where they went to school

You have the same friends from high school

You don't like Victorians

They stole our Grand Prix

Your dads best friend friends next door neighbour knows some one in the Hells Angels that can get stuff.

You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.

You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.

You understood and laughed at this list

You live in South Australia

And you'll probably die here too

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