Saturday, March 20, 2010

Election night tonight - go Liberals!

I am allowed to say "Go Liberals" now.

In 2001 when I worked for the ABC the then head of news and current affairs phoned me at home on election eve and ordered me not to hand out how-to-vote cards (for an independent candidate) as I had planned to.

Apparently it would be inappropriate, "given my position" at the ABC.

You know what the ABC is like.

Anyway, I am talking about South Australia, my ancestral home.

My rule of thumb is that if a government has been in office for around 10 years it is time for a change.

Labor has. Colleague Katharine Murphy is on the ground and can't detect a mood for a change.

But I do sense such a mood, and Possum has crunched NewsPoll figures to produce this awesome graph showing how hard it should be for Labor to get the 24 votes it would need to retain a majority:

Yes, the NewsPoll figures suggest there's just an 8 per cent chance of that happening.

Change is good, right? All governments get worse over time. (Including the Tasmanian government.)

ABC NewsRadio will be covering both counts all night for those of us interstate.

And to prove I am from Adelaide, below I post a definition going around on the web:


You meet people at the 'Malls Balls'

You consider 40 degrees to be a bit warm

You drink Farmer's Union Iced Coffee

You drink Coopers

And you know It's the best beer in the world

You've been to the brewery lights's

You've eaten a Balfour's frog cake

You know that a Berliner is something you eat

You like YoYo biscuits

You grew up on Fritz & sauce sangas

You know it's a 'yiros', not a 'kebab'

You can drink SA tap water without noticing any unpleasant flavours

You've been to the Pancake Kitchen (open 24 hours)

You call the corner store a 'deli'

You pronounce graph as 'grarph', plant as 'plarnt' and dance as 'darnce'

You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.

You went to school camps as the Red Shield Aquatics Camp in Victor Harbor

You know where 'Porta Gutta' is

You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).

You have been to Flashdance at HQ at least once

You've started the night on the East End then drunkly walked through Rundle Mall in the early hours to get to the West End (or vice versa)

You know that there's more than one way to have a good time on Hindley Street

Pints are the big beers

After a big night you've ended up at 'The Cas'

You've been to the museum on 5 different school excursion but never returned as an adult

You've been to the St. Kilda playground

You miss Magic Mountain at the bay

You know that 'the bay' is Glenelg

You would never swim at Glenelg because it's gross

You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburnt

You know the state floral and fauna emblem (but just in case it comes up at a quiz night)

You still call AAMI Stadium, ' Footy Park '.

You support the Crows/the Power

And you'd rather give up your first born than see the other team win the flag

You know the South Australians invited the checkside punt

You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt

You forgave the Chappells for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.

Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy

You've never watched NRL

You've been to the Christmas pageant as a child and as an adult

You've lined up for more than half an hour to see Santa at the Magic Cave

You've bought something from the pie cart

You know what a pie floater is

You've eaten a pie floater

You can't go out without seeing someone you know

You shop at Foodland

You have a Hills Hoist in your backyard

You know the Hills Hoist was invented in South Australia as was wine casks, penicillin and the retractable seat belt

At least half of your neighbours were born before 1950

You can leave work at 5:15 and miss 'peak hour traffic'

Your definition of 'peak hour' traffic is more than 5 cars at a red light

You're always running late because the public transport system is so old

You know and love the sound the ticket machine makes on public transport

You feel like punching the next person who calls it the City of Churches

You walk past at least 5 churches on your way to work

Seeing a large, Aboriginal man walking around town in a leotard and gum boots in the middle of winter does not surprise you

You know his name is Johnny

You know who Stormy Summers is

You think the 'Tiser has no journalistic integrity whatsoever.... And yet you still read it every day.

You remember John Martin's

You've been on the Pop-Eye

You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.

You know where beehive corner is

You hate the new tram

You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.

You've used the term 'minda' as an insult

A pale/palie is a Coopers Pale Ale

You've saved up your bottles and cans from a big night out, collected the 5c deposit and then used it to buy more beer

You know what a 'stobie pole' is

You say 'heaps good'

One of the first questions you ask a person is where they went to school

You have the same friends from high school

You don't like Victorians

They stole our Grand Prix

Your dads best friend friends next door neighbour knows some one in the Hells Angels that can get stuff.

You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.

You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.

You understood and laughed at this list

You live in South Australia

And you'll probably die here too

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David E said...

So when you say 10 years, you mean 8 years - ALP elected in 2002 as I recall...

Peter Martin said...

You're right - it just seems like ten.

Anonymous said...

Hi Pete
I'm sitting here on my lounge in Adelaide - contemplating. Just voted myself. I think your assessment is spot on. Outside commentators have flittered into Adelaide this week and many have suggested that Labor is slipping because of the Michelle Chantelloy thing. A pretty lazy analysis in my opinion. Adelaidians don't care much about this sort of stuff. Hey, we had the first gay Premier who wore pink shorts to Parliament in the early 70's, Australia's first nudist beach at Maslins etc. Here's my take on it.

We have had a Labor government who have been obsessed with the states AAA credit ratings. It has meant that many Labor principles have been ignored all in the name of penny pinching. Would you believe that about 6 months ago they tried to get disabled people to pay for the hire of their wheelchairs! The new policy aired on ABC891 and within hours the Minister responsible was forced to scrap it. But the fact that they even considered it appalled many. I'm not suggesting that this issue in isolation did much, but in my opinion stuff like that is a litmus test of what mind-sets a Government is in. The Govt refuses to have an independent commission against corruption, yet swaps state owned urban parks for developer owned industrial land requiring remediation. ok, things may have been above board, but then again whether they are or not is not the issue. It's what people perceive to be happening that is important.

I have always voted Labor since living in McLean Place in Curtin ACT in the early 80's, but I didn't this time. I'll bet anything that if Labor loses today, or gets a whalloping that the Chantelloy 'affair' will be blamed, as the egos of the Premier, his Treasurer and the Attorney General wouldn't allow for any other explanation.

I'll finish by saying that when a Government start believing its own bs, and starts suggesting that we just trust them, then its time for a change.

Richard G.

propsrule said...

I voted today for me...I live in a safe liberal seat, my upbringing should have me voting labor but due to my disgust at the arrogance of this government I joined F.R.E.E.

I have spent most of my time asking people to check us out and not believe the advertiser and govt spin.

We have made great progress since our party status was gained 53 weeks ago and have run six candidates at this election.

This has been done with very little in the way of funds or political experience.

Whatever happens, this state deserves a bit more honesty and openness by its elected reps.

Dave Munro, F.R.E.E. Australia Party Candidate for Goyder

Peter Martin said...

Good luck!

Richard G. said...

May I suggest a few additions to accurately identifying South Australians:

A tommy ruff is called a tommy ruff (not an Australian Herring).

You save up enough cans and bottles to enable your kids go to the University of Adelaide.

A squid is a squid. If it's called calimari then either you didn't catch it yourself or you're paying too much for it.

Buying and driving a Magna is/was the ultimate sign of allegiance (and sacrifice) to South Australia.

You know to only take your kids to swim at the Northern end of Maslins Beach.

A cockle is bait. You can't eat it!

The things you run into on Kangaroo Island are actually wallabies.

Tomatoes are planted in the first week of September and ripen in the first week of December.

It's a shame when your dog eats the stumpy in the backyard, but you can't do anything about it.

You can drive any car you want, no matter what age or how bad it is.

Adelaide Oval is the best cricket ground on earth.

If River Murray river water is used in NSW or Victoria it is wasted. If used in South Australia then it contributes significantly to the National economy.

Everyone hates the Port Adelaide Magpies.

No one ever admits to being born to the west of South Road (not in a hospital anyway).

Peter Martin said...


Who's got more?

Phil Ghirardello said...

Sorry Peter, but it looks like the 8% (or maybe even the 2%) probability will win the day! Newspoll only reported the total state picture - and the result looks like coming in within the MOE. However, Newspoll didn't show where the swing was occurring.

SA's Great said...

It looks like S.A is great after all Peter for they didnt go as far Liberal as you would have liked.Hope the humble pie you had for breakfast tasted great.

Peter Martin said...

Like a Cowley's pie.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Cowley's Pies. They were good in a floater!

JonH said...

How about:
You know that Vili's make the best pies

Either KG and Cornesy are your football gurus, or you dislike them intensely

No waves at the beach is no problem

You've had an ice cream on the jetty at the bay

The best wine in Australia is made within 1 hour drive of your home

No rain all summer is normal

You've been to the open day at Roseworthy

You've been to the Oakbank races

Peter Martin said...

I love: "No rain all summer is normal"

Stephen said...

You either love or hate Port Adelaide - there is no in between.

Great list Peter. I was born and raised in Adelaide and we just moved to Cyprus a month ago. That list was just the thing I needed... I miss Adelaide.

Peter Martin said...

Me too.

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